When Mother’s Day is Complicated

Text reads "When Mother's Day is Complicated" over a background image -- a close up photo of Cherry Blossom flowers.

Life is full of beauty, sorrow, laughter, delight, pain and the mundane – it’s complicated. As French artist Paul Cezanne put it, “we live in a rainbow of chaos.”

For many people, celebrating their parents is easy. But for those of us whose family dynamics make holidays tricky, fraught, or stressful, walking near the card aisles around these times can be difficult.

If you want to send a card to acknowledge your parent, picking up design after design of “best mom ever,” or “world’s greatest dad” in search of something neutral can leave you feeling a swirling mess of emotions.

And if this holiday is tough for you in some way — we see you.

How to Acknowledge Mother’s Day When It’s Heavy

We’re here to help make meaningful connections easier. In the good, the bad, the sad, the celebratory, and the weird. Part of that is acknowledging that not everyone has a great relationship with every holiday. 

Mother’s Day is an important day for many, but let’s be honest – like most holidays, Mother’s Day is a highly commercialized day. If Mother’s Day is hard to celebrate, you may dread April. It can feel like you’re inundated with shiny promotions celebrating moms every time turn on the tv, or open your inbox.

We get it, and we’re here to offer some suggestions.


What Do I Write in a Mother’s Day Card For A Complicated relationship?

Don’t know what to write? Start small. A neutral, factual statement can take the emotional labor out of it (“You’ve taught me so much about life”).

Maybe share a moment from a happy or even neutral memory (“Remember when we went to the museum together? That was a nice day.”) before closing with a simple “thinking of you.”


How Do I Support a Friend on Mother’s Day?

Maybe they’re grieving the loss of a parent. Maybe you’re watching them navigate a parent struggling with addiction. Maybe they desperately want to become a parent. Perhaps it’s just generational or cultural divides creating friction.

Let them know that they’re on your mind and in your heart, whatever the case may be.


What Do I Do if I Don’t Want to Send a Mother’s Day Card?

If you just can’t bring yourself to write a card, it’s ok!

In some cultures & religious practices, writing something out before burning it (safely) is a part of a healing, cathartic, or grieving process. If you can’t burn your letter, tear it up into tiny pieces before throwing it away, flushing it, or burying it.

Cards to Send if Mother’s Day is Weird

Whether your relationship with your mom is fantastic or fraught. Whether you miss her terribly, only sometimes, or not at all — feel what you feel. We’re here for you 💜

xoxo, PS Post